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Ongoing story · The Story-Teller

The medals make a sound. When might that matter?

Let an earned reward cause trouble through a property readers already know it has.

Use in my story
Read the scene & sources · Ending spoilers

The Story-Teller · Saki

Full ending of the embedded tale in The Story-Teller; a child's death.

The situation

On a train, a bachelor tells children a story about Bertha, whose goodness earns medals and permission to visit a park. This is a story told inside the main story.

What the source describes

The medals are introduced as metal objects that click together. Later Bertha hides from a wolf, but her trembling makes them clink and reveals her position. The children prefer this tale to the aunt's earlier moral tale.

How the choices connect

  1. Success brings a conspicuous reward and access to a new situation.
  2. A threat makes remaining unnoticed necessary.
  3. The already-established property of the reward defeats concealment.

Watch for…

Do not reduce the design to 'goodness must be punished.' A new magical defect added only at the ending would break the setup.

Read the source passages

The Story-Teller: introduction of the medals and their sound. ↗
The Open Window and The Story-Teller only

The Story-Teller: the medals disclose Bertha's hiding place. ↗
The Open Window and The Story-Teller only

CUESHELF INTERPRETATION

How this moves the story

A reward has ordinary properties as well as symbolic meaning. Establish its sound, weight or visibility while the owner is pleased to receive it. A later situation can make that same property troublesome. The reversal should follow what readers already know, without needing a new curse or a rule that good behavior must be punished.

Try it in your story

Choose a reward in your story and show one ordinary property when it is received: its sound, size, visibility or maintenance. Later, put the owner in a situation where that property matters. Give them a choice about keeping, concealing or surrendering the reward before the consequence arrives.

Use in my story

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